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Going through a divorce can be a trying time emotionally, physically, and financially. The results of a divorce may follow you for years and possibly for the rest of your life. Do all you can to insure the final results of your divorce are as positive as possible. Divorce for the Right Reason(s) Make sure you are getting divorce d for the right reasons. People change, your spouse did and so did you. Communication during a marriage can break down and things like kids and finances can come between couples. Getting a divorce will not make the kids go away and often makes financial matters even worse. Seek counseling if there is even a slim chance that the marriage can be salvaged. Often people think if I simply get rid of him/her I will be happy but there may be an underlying reason to your unhappiness that has nothing to do with your spouse. A qualified marriage counselor can often help you individually or together root out and solve marriage problems. Uncontested Divorce If y...

Life after divorce is something that most people who are going through divorce think about. Thinking about having a life after divorce or thinking about how your life will be after divorce , are common because people tend to fear for themselves. In fact, think about having a life after divorce while getting a divorce can be a sticking point for some people because they just aren't sure what their life will "look like" after divorce . Here's 5 things to keep in mind so can have a life after divorce : Life after divorce item 1: Think about your emotional stability...if you wanted the divorce or not, you must face it head on. Divorce is tough and whether you're going through it or your are already past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you might tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional ordeal. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you must admit that you will go through (or have gone throu...

When you learn that you are going to be getting divorce d, it may be have been coming for a long time or it may come as a complete surprise. Either way, there are certain things that you can do for yourself, your children, and your finances. This does not mean that you have to take all of your bank accounts and all that you have and wipe them out. You have to take the responsible interests throughout the marriage so that you can protect yourself and all that you before and after if the marriage ever dissolves. There are ways that you can act reasonably while you are protecting your interests. These are only precautions that you will need to take care of if the divorce is not being ended amicably. Depending on how well you and your spouse can get along at the time of the divorce , you may choose not to act on some of the suggestions that are given. You may decide that you and your spouse can work arrangements for everything without arguing. Whenever possible, try and make everythin...

If one person does not want to get a divorce , but one party in the relationship does and it is a no fault divorce , then the spouse cannot stop the divorce . This is called an irreconcilable difference and is a justification for divorce . A spouse can prevent a fault divorce by convincing the court that he or she is not at fault. This is something that they would have to prove and it is up to the judge to decide. There are other additional ways to defend a divorce from happening may also be a choice for some situations. If a person who condones that a spouse is having an affair files for a divorce , the spouse may contest the fault divorce by arguing that the spouse knew of the affair and condoned the action. This is one way for a person to defend himself or herself in court. Connivance is the setting up of a situation so that the other person commits something to jeopardize the marriage. One type of situation to explain is if a women sets up her husband in situation where he...

It’s a busy, busy, busy world out there. So many people I know, friends and clients alike, are feeling truly overwhelmed these days. The internet and our various battalion of electronic gadgets most of us use nowadays can bring an entire world of data, information and ideas to your fingertips within minutes. Parents run their households and try to find their footing in a crazy mosaic of children’s schedules, community commitments, working their jobs and, oh yes, trying to make time for a personal life. Entrepreneurs who left the corporate world hoping greater flexibility and balance in life would be theirs are working harder than ever. Will there ever come a time when we can just chill out, put our feet up and relax? We are hitting a point where our ability to keep our focus and stay productive is being seriously challenged. I call this challenge “Spiritual Overload Syndrome” or “SOS” for short. SOS is what happens when you’ve tapped into the flow of your brilliance and creativity,...

Question: “I’ve been separated for a few months now and am still feeling pretty shell-shocked. How do I handle my friends and family? Everyone is telling me what to do, how I should feel, asking all sorts of questions I don’t feel like answering. I feel like shutting down. ” Answer: The transition from going from married to separated can be pretty rocky. It sounds like your emotional stamina has been really tested, which is to be expected. Your family and friends and all of their advice and questions are well-intentioned, but it sounds like they aren’t really helping. So how do you ask for what you need? Don’t be afraid to tell your supporters that you appreciate their help but right now the best way they could help you is simply to offer you love and to listen to you. Listening deeply to another without an agenda to “fix” them or solve their problem is such an important gift. Too often people listen more to what they want to say next, instead of ….just listening and letting someon...

Are you struggling to become more productive and get ahead of your “to do” list? Do you feel overwhelmed at how meet all of the demands life makes of you? Most people focus on external solutions like time management skills or organizational systems to help them become more productive. An important, yet often overlooked, aspect that is critical to your success is your energy cycle . In nature, there are many cycles. The seasons change from summer, to fall and then to winter and finally spring. You can count on that. Plants and trees appear dormant for months on end, until the conditions are right for them to burst forward with new growth. We have an energy cycle that is available to us as well. Working WITH our flow of energy instead of AGAINST it can make all the difference between having good results and outstanding success. Here are 5 strategies to help you get the most from your energy cycles…. 1. Tune Into Your Energy Cycle I define your energy cycle as that feeling of being in...

“I just don’t seem to have enough time to get everything done!” is a common refrain I’m hearing from my clients. Truth be told, I’ve muttered it more than a few times to myself as well! In a world where information, resources and tools are available at your fingertips, it can be a challenge to walk that fine line between being productive and being burnt out. A friend of mine I spoke to told me she was struggling to decide on whether to accept a new opportunity in her business and that “I’m not sure I have the psychic bandwidth right now to really take that on!” I loved that phrase, because our brains do operate like computers. Let me share some strategies for good computer maintenance we can apply that can help us become more clear, productive and less overwhelmed. Step 1. “Defrag Your Brain” Regularly I loved the phrase “Defrag your brain” which I heard from innovator and thought leader, Andrea Lee. She notes most of us are more habituated to cleaning the lint drawer in our dryer...

Q. “How can I stop crying so that I can function in my life and my job, and is it ok for my kids to see me crying?” A. Crying, grieving and feeling the loss of your relationship and the loss of your dreams of “living happily ever after” with one person is normal. It’s important to feel all of your emotions fully instead of trying to stuff them down or ignore them. Tears are not a sign of weakness. As one of my teachers, Barbara De Angelis, put it, tears are simply the ice around our hearts melting. We are important role models for our children about how to be responsible for our own emotional well-being. If you find yourself in tears in front of the children, let them know you’re feeling sad and that it’s normal to cry if you’re feeling sad. This normalizes their experience and gives them permission to fully feel and express their emotions as well. Explain to your children that feelings simply move through us. It is healthy for us to give them an outlet so we don’t get… stuck or ...